Banks...simpler, better, faster? Comment by David Batzofin

 

Why are we so loyal to the banking institutes that we deal with? Do they really care about me, their customer?
                              I REALLY DON'T THINK SO...
Yet we figure it is better to be with devil we know than change,with all of the associated hassle and effort that goes with that....and it exactly that "fear" that they play on...
We complain constantly, but do we ever change? With a few exceptions the answer is a resounding "NO"...
What sparked this for me was an incident that happened to me recently...I am certain that I am not alone in this one...
To quote Sophia from the tv series "The Golden Girls"..."Picture the scene..."
It is early morning (7am to be exact) and I was doing an EFT and as I pushed 'send' I realized that I had sent the money to an incorrect account...
Know that feeling?
To be fair to my bank, the web-site did ask me twice if all was correct...and there is a disclaimer regarding mistakes on the page I was working on...BUT come on! It was an honest mistake...
Try phoning customer services at 7.15...laugh that off...they only open at 8!
The stolen card phone was answered but the operator was unable to help me..."Call your branch when it opens" was the retort.
And as an aside, why do the majority of banks still only open at 9am...or often past 9? Most inconvenient for most customers...
Eventually I was able to get through to customer services(an oxymoron if there ever was one!) only to be told that it was my mistake and there was nothing that could be done.
Except for a service that would cost me R285.00 and would take 20 working days to get my money back...and that was not guaranteed...a whole month!
Seeing I had tried to rectify my mistake within minutes and the money had not yet left my account, surely there must be systems in place to stop that transaction...even if there is a fee involved?
I did go into my branch, which was unable to offer any solutions other that see it as an early payment for the following month.
As I was about to leave, I mentioned in passing to the clerk I was dealing with that what really annoyed me was the fact that a post dated EFT for the same account would be coming off in a few days.
Her face lit up..."That we can stop!" and she explained how...
By stopping that I was able to recoup almost all of the incorrect money...and pay that to the correct recipient!
Yes, we do complain, but sometimes the mistakes are ours...
In the USA banks will offer you household appliances to get you to change, not in SA!
Would you change your bank for a toaster...or should that be out of the frying pan and into the fire?
Today, tomorrow, the future...they will continue annoy and irritate...

We will be taking off in a Westerly direction. Comment by David Batzofin

Airports bother me!

Why is it that the main building is called a terminal? We are already scared before we even get onto the flight.

But that is not the motivation behind this posting…

Recently, for the first time ever I missed a flight and it was the circumstances around that “incident” that has made me put fingers to keyboard (I cannot actually say pen to paper as that does not happen any more. Well certainly not in my office)

So let me unpack the drama…

My wife and I were set to fly to Richards Bay and I, in my wisdom, had decided to use the cheaper (not that it turned out that way) off-site long term parking.

We arrived there in time but then had to wait for the shuttle to get us to the dreaded “terminal” building.

This seemed to take forever as it has three stops before the domestic drop off point.

Needless to say that we arrived at the check-in counter 5 minutes late and no amount of begging would get us past this point.

We were told that there was another flight that was only closing in 20 minutes but this turned out to be full.

So we had to buy new tickets as well as change our car hire as we were now going to fly to Durban and not Richards Bay!

I have to say that the guy at the ticket counter was really helpful (unfortunately I did not get his name) and my wife and I had a good laugh about the whole incident.

We decided that we had not been late for the first flight, merely early for the second. But how early we only realized once we sat down to have something to eat and drink. We had been told that the flight was at 12, a 2-hour wait. It turned out that the flight was only leaving at 3, now 5 hours away! You can only people watch and go to the toilet a finite number of times before the whole exercise becomes really boring. But we took turns to comment on the size of a lot of the passengers…really large and to keep making sure that our flight was not delayed, as several others were.

Eventually our flight was called and we were able to board without much fuss…almost an anti-climax to the morning we had just had!

What did we learn from our extended sojourn at ORT?

1] If you are going to use the long-term parking allow yourself an extra hour

2] Don’t sweat the small stuff…and it’s all small stuff. We missed the flight and that was our fault. There is no reason to get angry with the check-in staff.

3] Talking nicely gets you further than loud words

4] Check the contract on your hire car…we were charged an extra R500.00 for picking the car up in Durban and we were not informed of that

5] King Shaka airport still has teething problems...

5] LAUGH! And we did, lots! I thought I would be stressed by missing the plane, but I was not…maybe I am growing up

But the fun was not over yet!

During the safety briefing we were given, our attention was directed to the fact that the  the plastic cover that you remove to get to the emergency handle (probably worth R50),

once removed had to be placed in the seat pocket before opening the door! 

We all exchanged looks, but our in-flight person was being dead serious!

How can we remember this bit of trivia when we have crashed and there might be fire and smoke?

But, as they say in the TV ads, that was not all.

Nope, we were then quizzed by said in-flight person on what we had just been told! 

A sort of mini pop quiz! 

If we failed, would we have been moved? Could we have re-taken the exam?

And then, just to round off all the fun we were having the captain does his welcome speech…

I DON’T NEED TO KNOW WHICH RUNWAY WE ARE USING OR IN WHICH DIRECTION WE WILL TURN ONCE WE REACH CRUISING ALTITUDE.

Get me up, fly me to my destination and land the plane safely…is that too much to ask?

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The sounds of silence...Comment by David Batzofin

The Sounds of Silence…Simon and Garfunkel sang about it in 1964,but try finding silence in 2008.
Noise surrounds us on a daily basis and we have become so accustomed to it that we don’t even notice it until it gets us annoyed.

Recently I was sitting in a coffee shop enjoying my cappuccino and reading the paper when BANG on came the music at levels that almost made me jump out of my seat. Why did it have to be turned on? No one had complained that there was a lack of music or that it was too quiet. But the staff had decided that they needed some to entertain themselves.
Aside from the actual music, there is the level at which it is played. At a large family restaurant recently it was almost empty on our arrival. The music was playing at a manageable level but as more people arrived, the staff cranked the levels so that the music got louder and louder. My plea to turn the volume down was met with blank stares and looks of disdain. More often than not they pretend that they don’t know where the cd player is or how to turn the volume down. Sometimes I will be lucky enough to find a staff member who can actually reduce the aural pollution …only to have some cretin turn it back up moments later. I have friends who have walked out of restaurants for this very reason.
But is not only while we eat that panpipes or ghastly elevator piano music assails us.
Shopping malls, elevators, supermarkets and even public toilets have Tannoy systems playing music that will keep your teeth on edge. And should you actually be enjoying the music, you can be certain that a “Special on aisle 7” announcement will disrupt your reverie.
What about the music in fast food outlets? I understand that the staff has to listen to something, but should the music not be designed to attract customers? The thumpa-thumpa of a bass beat at near distortion levels is enough to make me head for the nearest exit.
Strangely enough airport terminals do not seem to play music, but the announcements are an aural version of a doctor’s handwriting, totally incomprehensible. Train stations and airports spend billions on upgrades but the sound system seems to come from some second hand stall at a flea market.
How many times have you had the electronic version of “Yellow Rose of Texas” played while waiting for a call to be answered? Only once have I ever asked to be put back on hold as the company was using some great jazz music. But this is the exception rather than the rule.
With everyone seemingly concerned with Global warming and what pollution is going to do to our planet, I think it is time to clear the air and actually be able to have a conversation in a public place.
We have the right to reclaim our silence!

Queue Vadis...Comment by David Batzofin

“We have a problem, please be patient “…” Your call will be transferred to the first available operator”…”All our operators are currently busy”…AARGH!
Do any of these phrases cause you want to reach for medication of some description?
Telephone messages which profess that ” Your call is important to us”, when really what they mean is “We actually don’t care about you, but we will see how long it takes you to hang up” rank along side queuing which causes my blood pressure to soar.
And we stand in queues without a murmur or a complaint, or do we?
Recently at a branch of a well-known bank there was a lengthy, silent queue with only one teller in attendance. ” Simpler, better faster? I don’t think so,” I said loudly. As if by magic the manager appeared. ”Is there a problem?” “What is wrong with this picture?” I asked, pointing to the queue and to the single teller. Only then was the issue addressed while the crowd applauded.
But why do we need to resort to those strategies?
Supermarkets are no better with adequate tills but only two tellers in attendance. When you approach management you are met with a blank stare as if your query is something that needs to be addressed by a decision from head office.
But we as South Africans seem to be an exceedingly patient bunch. And very accepting of the fact that we have to wait while some incompetent behind a till or a counter decides whether or not to serve us or talk to a colleague.
It seems as if Government departments are the worst. Very little signage invariably means that you spend time in the incorrect queue, which you only discover when you reach the staff member, usually sitting behind a thickness of bullet proof glass. The tiny opening cut into this barrier is designed so that your query will not be heard on the first attempt to communicate with said employee. Once your voice has reached a level that only dogs can hear, you are dismissed to another queue and the waiting game starts all over again.
But why not turn this enforced stress test into an opportunity to meet fellow ‘sufferers’?
Seeing that everyone in a queue is in the same predicament it is often easy to strike up a conversation. I have a habit of looking into fellow shoppers’ baskets while standing in the inevitable queue at my local supermarket. Commenting on contents has often started interesting conversations for me and before I know it I have a new best friend and the stress of waiting for a cashier to return from breakfast/lunch or tea does not seem to take forever.
However, I believe that it is time to make our voices heard and to stand up for our consumer rights.
My time is important to me, but I intent to make the most of my queue time to meet and interact with fellow South Africans. “Viva Queues,Viva”!

Hug a sales person...buy retail. Comment by David Batzofin

                                               
Is modern technology trying to make hermits us?
It would seem to be that way!
Slowly but surely our daily interaction with actual retail sales people is being eroded almost as quickly as the icebergs are melting and the ozone is decreasing. The world seems to be very concerned about the latter but not so interested in the former.
It started innocently enough when the banks introduced ATM banking. THEY said would make OUR banking experience easier and faster. In order for them to force us to use the machines they levied a hefty fee on using over the counter banking.
And was it simpler, better or faster? I have my doubts.
Drive all the way to your local ATM to find a sign saying “Sorry out of order” and see how you feel about this miracle of modern technology.
Or lately it seems that if you forget your pin code you can just blow the machine out of the wall and take it home with you!
And don’t forget all the card scams that we have been warned about. I fell prey to this scam when a “helpful” member of the public standing behind me in a queue swapped my card. Luckily they were unable to get my pin number but it cost me money to get a new card. (Should the banks not offer replacement cards for free?)
Actually I do find that using an ATM allows me to draw money when I have to and therefore it works for me.
Several of my friends and colleagues have been doing online shopping that seems to the next step in the evolutionary chain of technology. As I don’t posses a credit card I have never had the need to try this form of shopping.
But for me shopping is a tactile experience and I enjoy seeing and handling the product that I am about to buy. The interaction with the sales staff allows me to get their input on my particular choice. But recently when my bank offered a really good online deal for a LCD TV I decided that it was time for me to try this for myself.
What I experienced was frustration, anger and eventually disappointment. 
Frustration because I was asked for a security number my wife knew nothing about. Anger because the customer care line (“We are experiencing high call volumes and we may take in excess of 10 minutes to answer your call!”) rang for 45 minutes before it was answered. As a result all the units were sold before I could sort out the ‘missing’ security number.
The fact that I was not able to buy online did not really upset me aside from having to stay up until midnight.
It allowed me to go into a couple of chain stores and do some comparative shopping.
Then, having made a choice I was able to pack the tv into my care and bring it home immediately.
Hug a sales person and buy retail

Time to change nappies...could South Africa become a nanny state? Comment by David Batzofin

I recently read a report that cinemas in Britain are going to ban popcorn as it annoys patrons and it makes a mess when spilled. But surely that creates jobs for people who are employed to clean up cinemas after the patrons have left. What might the union say about the fact that their workers might be out of work as a result of such a ban?
And all these years I was under the impression that popcorn was necessary in order to watch a movie…seems as if the popcorn police are going to be making their appearance in the not too distant future (I know that there is at least one well known reviewer who would be glad to see that ban implemented here in South Africa)
But will it end there? I don’t think so. I am in favour of “silent” packaging in either movies or theatres, but to ban popcorn…that is sacrilege.
Many years ago, Coke in the USA changed its formula in order to match that of its biggest competitor. Due to a huge public outcry and threats of mass legal action Coke reverted to their old formula.
Perhaps when and if this type of ban is imposed here, the popcorn munchers should unite and threaten boycott action until the ban is lifted.
But the popcorn is actually a smoke screen for my real rant this week…the banning of incandescent light bulbs in homes and buildings!
And the ban is to be effected immediately. Well not actually as the department concerned had slipped up in a memo and the ban should have been phased in over an indefinite period.
This department also want street lights to be able to be switched off remotely, those that actually work. Never mind the security problems that might cause.
I have no problem with laws or regulations but I draw the line when they dictate what sort of light bulbs I can use.
The “poorest of the poor” will get their light bulbs paid for, but how is that criteria judged and by whom?
The same seems to be true for our new digital TV signal. If you have a regular TV aerial then you will have to buy a decoder to change the signal from analogue to digital. Once again the poor will have their boxes sponsored. By who? The tax payer of course, you and me. Originally these boxes should have cost R400 but because of build in security measures they will now cost R700. Who says that crime does not pay? Perhaps the purchaser should have the option to buy with or without security features?
The more pressing question seems to be will there be yet another ‘commission’   set up to monitor the implementation of all these new systems and laws?
Where will this  “madness” end?
Will new houses only be able to have shower facilities, as baths will be banned as they waste water.
Save water, bath in your Koi pond!

Mechanically speaking...Comment by David Batzofin

                                                 
Do your palms start to sweat when you take your car for a service?
Why do dentists and mechanics evoke similar fear in me?
Perhaps it’s because I have no control over what they are about to do to my prized asset.
I bought my first car from a family member, which turned out to be the wrong thing to do…never buy a car from someone you know unless you have had it properly checked, which I did not.
As it turned out, the car had been in a major accident and was being held together by a large amount of body filler! (But I digress).
The little mechanical knowledge I have I learned form fixing that car!
Many a weekend I would have to change the u-bolts before going out on a date. The grinding steel on steel noise that may be a reason why I never got few second dates!
I sold the car to a backyard mechanic who is probably still driving it.
With modern cars the intricate wiring and computer driven systems usually defy “home repairs”. In fact most manufacturers warranties become void if you attempt repairs at home (These threats are similar the label on a mattress that states” Removal of this label will void your warranty” Why?)
Garages used to be full of calendars of semi-naked women and they smelled like old tyres and dirty oil.
The mechanics used to have oil stained hands and be dressed in an overall that had seen better days.
The modern workshop looks more like a control room at NASA and not an oil stain in sight.
If you take your car to a dealership then it is almost like checking into a hotel…or hospital.
The reception staff is usually very friendly and efficient, but often not mechanically minded.
“Can you describe the noise that your car is making? Is it SCRAAAAAAAPE or  SCREEEEECH?”
You are promised that your car will be ready by a certain time and that if any major repairs are required you will be called before they are undertaken. And we believe that this will happen, how gullible we have become!
No matter what time your car was meant to be ready, it will always be in the wash bay when you call.
When you eventually arrive to collect your vehicle you are handed an invoice which invariably includes an amount for “consumables”, which turns out to be rags and hand cleaner or something similar. Like paying for swabs in an operating theatre.
Shiny, pine-scented and hopefully repaired, you reclaim your car and on the floor you find ‘your’ old parts. But are they? And what do they really prove?
In the workshop is a bin full of old parts and as a car leaves a random selection are put in. Again much like your surgeon handing you “your” appendix in a bottle.
So, if you find an honest mechanic treat him with respect…he is worth his weight in sparkplugs!