Never assume, no matter how bad it looks

Back on the horse again...

Never judge a book by its cover.

Or in this case, a crash by the aftermath...

I never normally stop at an accident site.

but I made an exception in this instance.

What made me deviate from my norm? 

The extend of the damage to the Audi TT,in what appeared to be a single car incident.

Note the cupcake holders that were strewn about 

the first part of the wreckage that I encountered.

I have never seen such utter devastation at an accident site before.

I was told by the SAPS members still on the scene,

that this had occurred just a few hours earlier.

My initial comment was;

"Too much money, too much alcohol and not much sense"

Never assume as it makes an "ass of u and me, but I did assume

and I was about to be proved wrong... 

The first thing I noticed inside what was left of the cabin was this bible.

Probably the only item that was intact.

There is a song by Carrie Underwood called "Jesus take the wheel"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lydBPm2KRaU

Perhaps this was the case here...

It was at this point I discovered that the driver was a woman...

This is what was left of the front of the Audi.

I kept wondering to myself what could have caused this total destruction.

The gearbox and engine were lying several meters from the car.

What was left of the gearbox...torn from the engine!

And the engine.

As one of the many bystanders commented:

"The only way that this much damage could have been caused

is if the car was dropped from an aeroplane"!

As I walked around the car, 

I spared a thought for the driver whom I was convinced has perished.

A close up view of the engine bay,

or what was left of it!

Look at the state of the only wheel still attached to the chassis.

It was at this point I was told that driver had SURVIVED.

Purportedly with no apparent injuries!

UPDATE 1: 

I have it on good authority that the driver survived the accident.

She is traumatized but otherwise uninjured.

UPDATE 2:

This from News24:

A woman is in a critical condition after the Audi she was travelling in veered off the road, became airborne and slammed into a sign post, emergency services have said.The incident took place in the early hours of Sunday morning.The woman was found lying behind the wreck of the vehicle. She was taken to Charlotte Maxeke Hospital. "Paramedics treated the woman and immediately initiated advanced life support interventions, in an effort to stabilize her vital signs," said ER24's Russel Meiring.

Is there a message or a lesson that can be taken from this?

Does the bible say that she was a religious person

and that might have contributed to her being saved?

One can argue for and against that statement.

For me, I am totally astounded that anyone 

of any religious persuasion would have survived.

These images speak volumes for the safety features 

built into the particular model.

And for those, like me, who are wondering how

the accident actually occurred, have a look that this clip:

https://www.facebook.com/david.batzofin/videos/10212867929867157/

  

And that is all I have to say...

Until the next time.

On the death of a parent.Does the pain ever subside?

The recent death of the father of a friend has spurred me to write this posting.
Although I have written other postings to my Dad,
they seemed to be more me than him.
In the greater scheme of things, parents are meant to die before the children.
That being said, it is never easy to accept,
especially when that death was totally unexpected.
This is what I remember...

At 21h00 on the 5th of October, 2004 I got a call from my Mom.
This call was to let me know that my Dad had had a massive stroke
and that the prognosis did not look good.
My Mom is a nurse and I could tell from her voice that I should prepare for the worst.
As my parents were in Port Elizabeth and I was in Johannesburg,
getting there at that time of night was not an option.
My daughter, who was 19, was living with me at the time
 had to be prepared for what seemed the inevitable outcome.
And I had to try to find my sister who was in Europe...
This was in the days before the internet connectivity we currently have.
No Facebook or What's App to turn to.
Just a land line and countless phone calls...
I waited for more news...and finally it came.
This is the email that I send as soon I had put down the phone...
Reading in now, it seems just as surreal as it did when I wrote it in 2004.

Hi Guys,
Just to let you know that my Dad(78) died at 01h00 this morning (06/10/2004)
He had suffered a massive stroke earlier in the evening 
and he died in hospital without regaining consciousness.
From the way that my Mom described it he did fight, just a little,
towards the end and then he let go...
It is very strange for me to write this as it has not really sunk in yet.
Feeling that the call was all a dream or a mistake.
But I know that it was not.
Take care, love to you all.

My Dad has been gone for 14 years now, but the pain remains.
I don't think that we ACTUALLY appreciate our parents enough when they are alive.
What did my Dad teach me?

You certainly gave me a good grounding in a variety of life lessons.

Having spent 36 years with the same company,

 you could not understand my reasons for me changing jobs every couple of years!

Having said that, he only enjoyed the first six...

the next thirty were just to keep a roof over our heads,

and food on the table.

I remember calling him the day after he retired and asking him how he felt

about handing back the keys and walking away...

He told me that it had been the best day of his life!

That aside, he was always supportive of what ever I undertook...

He believed that I should have a "proper" job to fall back on,

just in case my chosen life path did not work out.

Hence my doing an electrical apprenticeship,

which has stood me in good stead when times have been tough.


My Dad had wanted to be cremated, and although not traditionally condoned
by our Jewish faith, we respected his wishes.
My sister, daughter and I had flown down from Johannesburg to attend the ceremony,
however we were informed that the actual cremation would not take place for a while,
so we returned to our homes and I said that I would come back to collect the ashes
as my Mom did not feel the need to keep them.
When I flew back to Johannesburg I tried to get my Dad posthumously upgraded to business class.
The airline staff, when seeing the box containing the ashes,
were prepared to upgrade him, but not me!
So we both flew home in economy...


Some months after his death I asked my Mom if he had harboured any unfulfilled dreams.
She told me that he had always wanted to join a circus.
I have fond memories of watching Barnum and Baileys and Ringling Brothers Circus,
at Madison Square Gardens in NYC in 1978 with him.
It so happens that there was a circus in town.
I ha a chat to the ring master and the pill bottle containing the ashes,
formed part of the trapeze act in a matinee.
I have a signed certificate to the effect that he had performed posthumously.
A first for the circus, and a dream fulfilled for my Dad.
Better late than never.
It might seem that I am being disrespectful,
however, those who knew my Dad will agree that he would have loved it!

I did not want to give my sister all of the remains, so I kept some in a sealed pill bottle.

This bottle went with me to the top of Kilimanjaro in 2006.

I did not scatter the ashes there as the mountain meant nothing to my Dad.

But it made me feel as though he was guiding my feet and keeping me safe.

This is my Dad's wedding ring that I have worn every day since his death.

I am grateful that he got to meet my wife(then girlfriend) before his death.

We all had lunch in June of 2004, he died in October

His ring has become mine, and I suppose part of him is with me on a daily basis

It was in this handmade pot that my wife made that I finally scattered the ashes.
Two years after he died I heard a voice say "Now"...
and I got up, unsealed the bottle and said my final goodbyes.

This Hybrid succulent in the pot was planted in his honour.

It usually flowers every year on the anniversary of his death.
There was a period of two years where it did not flower,
and I took that to be a message that he had moved on.
A so should I...

Last year the flowers returned...in the biggest display in 12 years.

I was hoping that would last until his birthday,31/12,

but the last one disappeared just before Christmas.

This is the cover of the story of my Dad that I am currently writing.

Will I ever finish it? I am uncertain.

Does it really need to be completed? Possibly not.

At present it is merely a vehicle for some of what I felt about his life,

and his death.

For me, the part of his passing that hurt me the most occurred 4 days before he died.

As I usually did, I had called my folks on the Saturday and towards the end of

the conversation I asked my Mom where my Dad was.

"He is at Art in the Park" she told me. 

This was a monthly market at a local park within walking distance of their apartment.

"Tell Dad I say Hi", was my response.

"I will talk to him next Saturday"...

But that never happened, he died in the early hours of Wednesday morning.

This phrase was to haunt me for more than a year.

Why did I not say "Tell him I send love"?

To this day I have no answer.

It was not that we were always close, 

but we had come to the realization in the preceding 5 years or so

that to actually say "I love you" or for that matter to hug and kiss was acceptable.

But the transition from handshake to close physical contact had not been an easy one.

It came to a head when my folks were returning to Port Elizabeth by train.

At the station, before they were about to board,

my Dad, in his usual fashion, put out his hand to shake mine.

"Enough" I said, and gave him an unexpected hug.

"That is how we will do it from now on"...

Let on that fateful Saturday I merely said

"Tell him I say Hi"...

This was read at his memorial service.

DEATH IS NOTHING AT ALL.

by Canon Henry Scott Holland

Death is nothing at all,

I have only slipped into the next room.

I am I, and you are you,

Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name,

Speak to me in the easy way you always used.

Put no difference into your tone,

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as you always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me…

Pray for me.

Let my name be the household name it always was,

Let it be spoken without effect,

Without a trace of shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant,

It is the same as it ever was.

There is absolutely unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of your mind, because I am out of your sight?

I am but waiting for you for an interval,

Somewhere very near…

Just around the corner.

All is well!

My Dad gave me my love of the performing arts.

Hence this tribute tattoo symbolizing the happy and sad theatre masks.

I don't necessarily think about my Dad every day,

and I am OK with that... now.

But often I will feel the need to call him to "share".

Or tears and sadness will fall over me like a cloak.

These moments do not last long, 

but they are a reminder that although he has been gone for a long time

I still wish he was here to enjoy his grand daughter and her achievements...

Despicable pet owners. What to do, what to do?

      

 Back on my trusty steed again.

Time to tilt at windmills once more.

Currently pet owners who abandon/discard their animals are irking me!

Take a look at this image...

Take a good long look...

This is the face of a dog whose owner NO LONGER WANTS HIM!

(The animal is in the care of a local vet at present).

The owner, if you can call him that, is tired of taking care of him

and has threatened to SHOOT the dog should it be returned to him!

In the greater scheme of things, this might not seem

like an issue that would warrant a mention in a newspaper,

or even a fine/jail time for this despicable human should the dog be killed.

Yet, it now awaits its fate in a kennel at a veterinary clinic,

where the kind vet/owner has been looking after it for almost two weeks.

Interestingly, as humans ,we need officially sanctioned documentation
 to prove that we are competent

to undertake certain tasks and activities.

We need a drivers license to get behind the wheel of a car.

And, legally, we have to wait until we are 17 to do that.
And it has to be renewed every 5 years.
It can be revoked for a variety of reasons.

In order to possess a firearm, we need to pass a proficiency test.

And there are age and legal restrictions on who can and cannot own a gun.
It can be revoked under certain circumstances

You cannot drive a vehicle that does not have a valid license.

That has to be renewed on an annual basis.

And, although age might not be enforced,

you do need one of these to legally be betrothed to someone.

Today, with our Democratic Constitution, same sex marriages are allowed.

BUT NONE OF THE ABOVE CONSTRAINTS APPLY TO OWING A PET!

Anyone can walk into a pet shop and buy a pet of any description,

without having to prove that they can actually look after the animal.

WHY?

Certain of the rescue shelters will do a home inspection,

but these are superficial to say the least.

They would rather have the animal in a home(of almost any description)

that having it at a shelter where it has to be housed and fed.

At this particular stage competency tests should be conducted

 on all potential owners, and if they fail, they need to be placed on a register

so that they are unable to buy from any reputable shop or breeder.

Years ago, there were dog licenses, but these seem to have vanished.

Cats never had to be licensed.

Some owners will not even buy their pet a collar with a tag for contact details.

Surely that should be compulsory?

A minimum standard in order to return the pet should it stray.

But perhaps there are owners who figure that id a pet gets lost,

it can be easily replaced!

How would they feel if it was their child that was missing?

If it was just a simple "click"

would YOU do it?

Many would not

Yes, there is a cost involved...

But if you are a conscientious pet owner, this would be an option.

Often the "my pets are like my children" only apply 

when they are healthy and not costing money.

When that happens, often the mantra becomes

"I had them put down because their quality of life was compromised"...

So what kind of pet owner are you?

Only YOU can answer that...

Not all owners are guilty of these travesties and they DO take care of their animals.

But there are those, who seem to make decisions about their pets 

based solely on financial circumstances.

Get rid of the pet that we have currently because we cannot afford to keep it,

we can always get another!

                 

                       Once again I ask you to take a good look into these eyes...

Can YOU offer him a second chance?

He has been neutered.

                    He is very comfortable around both children and adults,

                    but he needs to be the only pet in the household.

But time is running out for this unloved animal.

We can complain about its owner all we like,

but if we cannot help him find a new home SOON,

then his fate will certainly be a lethal injection and an unceremonious "burial"

on a designated landfill.

  

And that is all I have to say...

Until the next time.

Hello 2017...and we are off again

      

 Back on my trusty steed again

In this particular case...

When do you STOP wishing people "Happy New Year"?

I asked a waitress at a restaurant where I was having lunch recently,

and her answer was "At the end of January".

Is there any etiquette surrounding the offering of that salutation?

(The on-line research I did was unable to give me a definitive date)

For years I have dreaded the beginning of a New Year.

An empty diary, for a freelancer like myself, can be very daunting.

This year, 2017, I decided to see each of those blank pages

 as Opportunities,rather than Challenges.

Although much of my work is on-line, I still use an "old fashioned" hard copy diary

that can be found on my desk next to my laptop.

I have used the same type of diary for the past several years

and although I have seen quotations at the foot of each page,

I have never paid much attention to them.

But I have decided that that will change THIS year...

How long does it take to read...

"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,

but it takes character and self-control 

to be understanding and forgiving"

Dale Carnegie

6 seconds...that is how long!

And if you consider that there are 86,400 seconds in a day,

you will realize what a minuscule amount of time that actually is!

Go ahead, have a look in YOUR diary...

perhaps today's quote will be pertinent or meaningful to you.

What are your goals for 2017?

Did you go to bed on the night of 31/12/2016 will any unfulfilled ones...

and then just rolled them over into 01/01/2017?

Did you write any of them down?

As humans we all have foibles and faults.

We have great intentions of making the year the OUR BEST ONE EVER...

but do we actually do anything constructive towards changing ourselves,

either in word or deed?

Do we set ourselves achievable targets?

Or do we set limitations to our success by not being specific 

about what we want to attain during this year?

"I want to..." is an open ended statement and will almost certainly guarantee failure.

On the other hand,

"I will achieve(whatever your goal is)...by( set yourself a specific date)"

and that WILL bring success.

Remember the completion date and the goal can be altered. 

Nothing, except death, is final.

I have set and changed one goal already...

I thought that I would be able to lift my own bodyweight (87kg)

within the first half of this year.

However, having spoke to several personal trainers

who have said that this is an unreasonable goal

I have revised this to give me a similar, but more achievable task

in the same time frame.

I have also decided that 2017 WILL be the year 

in which I FINALLY(after 57 years of trying)

get to touch my toes!

Due to REALLY tight hamstrings, I have never achieved this.

I started my quest on 05/01/2017

and I have gone from 18cm to 13cm (fingertips to toe) already.

I have set myself 35 days to achieve this.

It is the same with weight goals...

Especially post the festive season, when we all overindulged to some extent.

And neglected our training regimes.

DO NOT get sucked in my "fad diets" and "lose weight quick" schemes.

This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Get rid of the weight too quickly and it WILL return,

bring more with it.

The object of losing weight is to keep in off ,

not to yo-yo up and down as that can affect your overall health.

And on that note...

When last have you had a full physical?

Not feeling well, don't turn to Facebook for advice,

seek qualified medical advice.

And guys, going to the Dr is NOT a sign of weakness.

Do everything in moderation.

Don't deny yourself a slice of cake...but have one and not several

Binge eating is brought about by denial,

and unless it is an excess of alcohol or drugs

their is no reason to deny yourself.

You will be happier, less stressed and certainly a more rounded person

if you do not berate yourself for having a chocolate.

Take time to mourn.

It could be a family member, a friend or perhaps

a celebrity who was meaningful to you.

By the same token it could be a lost opportunity, 

a failed relationship or a phone call that you never made.

Allow yourself to go through the grief and the hurt

and despite what people may say, 

there is no time limit on this process.

But learn from the experience

and come out stronger and filled with understanding.

My wish for YOU in 2017?

That you find fulfilment, joy, passion, hope and adventure.

May you have new and joyous experiences with those that you love.

And, more importantly,

may whatever you do with the days left in 2017,

you do in order to make your heart soar.

May you and those you love a wonderful and safe year

  

And that is all I have to say...

Until the next time.