The great toilet paper debate...rolls on!

      

 Back on my trusty steed again

VENTING TIME!

I recently posed this question:

"Should graded establishments be required to use double ply toilet paper"?

This came to my attention when I discovered single ply in a public toilet

These were some of the comments I received via my Facebook page.

My responses are in italics

Simon:  2 ply...3 ply....you in the South clearly have not been experiencing the Cameron Regeneration Austerity Package or CRAP for short...here we use whatever is at hand, The Sun, Daily Mail, Telegraph

Me:...Thank you for the international angle  After SONA tonight we might not even have toilet paper..

Alan S: 3ply is a constitutional right. Excuse me, David, but.... (Or should that be butt?)

Me: Thanks Alan. I believe that it IS my constitutional right. But then again our rights are in the toilet. 

Cathie:  are you also debating 'crush vs fold'?

Me: For the purposes of this forum, we are sticking to 1 v 2 ply Cathie.

The other option opens a whole different can of worms...so to speak.

Renchia:  Don't worry David I work for a toilet paper manufacturing company in Nelspruit... I will courier you some... please let me have your preference... 2 ply Silky Soft, 1 ply Silky Soft, Premium Delux Soft Virgin, Recycled paper, Semi-Rejects or zimply just cheap recycled rejects...

Me: Thanks Renchia...could I have one of each for research purposes?

Elaine: Wringing my hands. Oh these 1st world conundrums! (Seen a few glorious pit loos on the road.)

Me: Me too Elaine...especially on Kilimanjaro. On my two trips to the summit,

I carried my OWN 2 ply! 

• Chris: ABSOLUTELY

  Me: I agree!
• 
  
• 
• Nicky: ANY HOTEL SHOULD HAVE 2 PLY !!!!!
• Me: Nicky, not any hotel...every hotel. Local and International.
• 
  
• 
• Pam: Check out British Airways First Class toilets. Believe it or not 1 ply!
• Me: Pam, based on your statement, I will NOT fly with this airline.
• 
  

• Anthony: Is this the right forum for matters of a personal nature? Just asking.
• Me: Yes it is Anthony...my posting, my rules.
• 
  
• 
• David S: Life is too short for single-ply.(and it,s false economy).
• Me: True enough. Single ply gets used up TWICE as fast.
• 
  
• 
• Sharon: Yes.
• Me: Short, sharp and to the point Sharon
• 
  
• 
• Boo: Without a doubt!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Me: Boo, there was NEVER any doubt in MY mind.
• 
  
• 
• Mandy:  Most definitely!
• Me: Mandy, I thought the Mos Def was a rap singer. We are not discussing music here.
• 
  
• 
• Athele: That's not a real question is it?
• Me: Of course it is Athele
• 
  
• 
• Moira: 3 Stars and upwards should have.
• Me: I don't want to let the 1 and 2 star establishments off the hook Moira. 
• Make 2 ply the standard!
• 
  
• 
• Shelly: I changed from 2 ply to 1 ply after my plumber said it's more prone to blocking...... okay we do have large trees and a root problem on an aging line. But there may be truth in it.
• Me: Shelly, plumbers are just looking for work. Exercise YOUR right to use 2ply.
• However, I am not referring to home use.
• 

• Drienie:  2 Ply David, unless you wanna make a hole through one block and then use the bidet, nail scrubbing brush... 
• Me: Drienie, I am scared to answer your statement.
• 
  
• 
• Bridge H:  in short YES!! If it is 3*** and above there are other requirements that range from 300-600 thread count per cal linen, slippers and gowns, block out curtains the size of the fridge and refreshment station in the room, telephone in room , towels and amenities ... but to answer your question any graded establishment using 1 ply BOG ROLL for its guests should be reported to the NAA
• Me: A serious answer...
• 
  
• 
• Val: Only 2 ply! I insist
• Me: Val, we should all DEMAND 2 ply!
• 
  
• 
• Samantha: Oh God yeah!!!!
• Me: Sam, Would HE demand 2 ply? I think he would.
• 
  
• 
• Peter T: Get in touch with your inner self. Use 1 ply bogroll.

• Me: Sorry Peter, I have standards.
• 
  
• 
• Brooks: Minimum is two. Three, scented is much better
• Me: Brooks, this puts you in the 1% of the VERY privileged. 
• You should not even be responding to this.
• 
  
• 
• Jonathan: If it is only 1- ply, they will at least have a spare - you can unroll them both, put them together and make 2-ply
• Me: Jonathan, that is WAY TOO MUCH work. See Cathie's comment re crush v fold. 
• 
  
• 
• Douglas: The stuff does fold!
• Me: Douglas, this we understand...but that is not the point.
• 
  
• 
• Pierre: Only The Argentinean has 2 Ply toilet paper
• Me: Pierre, where do I send the invoice for advertising YOUR establishment?
• The one that serves the best  chocolate croissants west of Jan Smuts Avenue...
• AND has 2ply toilet paper.
• 
  
• 
• John:Ah just checking...you sure it was toilet paper Mate???
• Me: John, on some deep psychological level, probably not

And the next logical debate...

Over or under?

  

And that is all I have to say...

Until the next time.

Come on Telkom or how to waste a weekend.

  UPDATE...
This has been the response to date...
The original problem(no password) was EVENTUALLY resolved
HOWEVER the problem currently is one 
of VERY slow internet speed,
and to date that has not been resolved.
I received a call this morning 
asking when the problem had been resolved.
On informing the caller that the slow speed
was still a problem,
he informed me that they had an "executive order"
 to check the line...and hung up!
But the kicker for me was this sms that I received.
" Good day, according to our records 
you recently phoned the Telkom call centre.
Based on this interaction,
how likely are you to recommend Telkom
to a friend or family member?
Please respond with a number from 
0 (definitely won't) to
10 (definitely will)
SMS responses are free,
up to four more questions will follow"
I have had two more calls...
turns out we only have a 2meg line,running at full speed.
NOW THEY TELL ME.
Will have to go to Telkom Cresta to see if I can upgrade,
without having to spend a fortune.
More updates WILL follow.


      

 Back on my trusty steed again

VENTING TIME!


This time it is Telkom that gets the sharp end of my lance.
And who do they blame their lack of service on?


ESKOM.


Never let the sun set on an argument.
With Telkom, that is NOT an option.
In this case the sun set and rose on the unresolved issue.


It all started on Friday afternoon when my router started to play up.
It worked intermittently and then "died"...
As we had been experiencing load shedding
I thought that the problem was a simple re-boot.
Unfortunately, that was not to be
Just a question...
Does the picture on this box look suspect?


And so the calls began...
At first I was told that it was a line problem (this at around 07h00 on Saturday)
At around 11h00 I called again to check up on the line.
Now I was told that it was ACTUALLY a router problem,
and I need to exchange my router.
The skull belong to a friend that died while I waited for Telkom to answer.
The battery on my cordless died several times during the two days


I eventually resorted to "old-school" technology
At least this did not have a battery that would die.
But it did not get me through any quicker.


I had to queue at the Cresta branch to collect a new router on Saturday.
The wait was more than  30 minutes, however the lady that served me
was a pleasure to deal with.
One day a real "plug and play" device WILL be invented.
Connecting the new router was easy...and then the fun began.
Why?
Because it asked for a password that I did not have/could not find.
One word was stopping me accessing my online life.
Wars have been started over less.


No time for a cup of tea, as I had forgotten to fill a flask
 before settling down to *TRY* and get through to the
customer-we-don't-care centre


I unpacked and repacked my photo kit next to my desk more than once.
Why?
Because all the electrical and phone connections are behind this!


On a positive note, I did get to tidy up my desk drawers
AND get all my month end paper work done while holding on.
According to the pamphlet that came with my new router
the Telkom offices open at 06h00...THEY LIE!
After holding on for 12 minutes, I was informed that office hours are from 07h00.
I call at 07h03...and hold till 07h48 with NO response
And that was just one of the many calls that I made with no success.


Eventually I get through to a human...at 08h00...
and our power gets shed at 08h05.
Luckily we have a generator, so I was able to get the router back up
and I could continue to hold with ever increasing anger.
I have to say that I did not get angry with any of the staff
 that(eventually) answered my calls.


I have to forego my long Sunday run and that did NOT make me happy.
AT ALL!


Finally...at around 11h00 I got through to a human at the call centre in Durban.
Unfortunately I did not get her name, but I did say that I would fly to Durban
with chocolates and flowers for her.
What had taken almost 7 hours of my wasted time,
she was able to resolve in less than 3 minutes...
All I wanted was a password
and I had been bumped around like a ball in a pinball machine.


And here I sit...
able to write this "comment" posting...eventually.
I feel that Telkom should  look to their customer service.
Keeping a customer on hold for an hour is totally unacceptable
But do they care?
Care they do not as they have the monopoly on fixed line ADSL.
The alternatives on offer currently are too expensive for individual households.
Come on Telkom...get your act together.
With load shedding, the promise of water cuts, bus drivers on strike
and an ongoing postal strike,
 we South Africans have enough on our plates at present.

                                                       

And that is all I have to say...

Until the next time.

Bin it.

          

 Back on my trusty steed again

VENTING TIME!


On a recent morning I found myself on the banks of Emmarentia Dam.
On the surface, all seemed to be as it should.
A Red-Knobbed Coot slowly made its way past me,
stopping occasionally to peck at something in or on the surface.
As there are often fishermen, paddlers and sundry other folk at the dam,
I figured that it was used to having its "space" invaded.


Even these semi-submerged rocks made for an interesting composition


The major "inhabitant" of the area must certainly be the Egyptian Geese.
This one was doing his Karate exercises...


On one panel of the fence at the dam,
locks have been attached to commemorate various relationships.
Certainly not as many as some bridges in Europe,
but they are "multiplying"...
So far, dear Reader, you might be under the impression that this is not a RANT,
but it is...


AND THIS IS THE MAIN SOURCE OF MY ANGER!
Why are humans so messy?
Do the perpetrators of this type of behaviour think that they are
*JOB CREATORS*?
Not so, you are just pigs actually.
You cannot put your trash into the bin?
Can't you see it?
Why can't the JMPD,who purport to uphold municipal bylaws
DO SOMETHING?
NO, they would rather sit on the side of the road,
eating junk food and issuing speeding tickets.
EARN YOUR MONEY.
It is time for the citizens of the suburbs that surround this public space
to BECOME PROACTIVE.
Get the Ward Councillor to get involved...
Get a local school to clean up?
Or even better, if people are caught littering,
make THEM clean up...
Doing NOTHING is not an option.

I am certain that the canoeists that use the dam
do not want to be injured stepping onto broken glass.
Or fight their way through rubbish to get to the water.


After all the rubbish (bottles etc) that I saw,
I felt that I should end this on a positive note.
This might be a weed, but it is pretty.
Come on, let us do ourselves proud.
If you do use this facility, PLEASE, PLEASE clean up.

                                                       

And that is all I have to say...

Until the next time.

TRUCK IT!

          

Time to hop on my trusty steed again

and VENT!

Objects in your rear-view mirror may be closer than they seem!

In the case of THIS truck and the back of the car I was in.

For a moment I feared that the word "SCANIA" 

would be imprinted on the back window

On a recent trip to Cape Town,I was amazed at how badly 

many of the 18-wheelers are driven.

It seems that many of them believe that the road is THEIRS.

There is no law that forces them to pull into an emergency lane,

to allow cars to overtake.

However, if you know your vehicle is incapable of the legal speed...

PULL THE F&*K OVER!

"A Dream is a serious thing"...

Really?

I dream that you will get out of my way.

Does that count? 

Trucks overtaking trucks.

Not too bad in this case, as the smaller vehicle has the speed...

But when this happens...I get really pissed off.

The larger truck is having to "race" to get ahead.

The truck in the emergency lane was NOT prepared to slow down

The "blue" truck hogged this lane for quite a distance.

It was unable to pass, but was NOT prepared to move into the left lane

in order for us to overtake

Usually, it is the mini-bus taxis that get most of the blame.

On my journey down the N1, those that we passed were courteous 

Many of the drivers DID use their headlights.

I believe that daytime headlight use should be mandatory.

There were plenty of police on the N1...

All were intent on catching the speedsters 

and not those infringing other rules

Back in the day, we had a functional railway infrastructure.

What has happened to that?

If it was working it would take many of the trucks off the road,

thereby leaving regular road users feeling safe.

                                                       

And that is all I have to say...

Until the next time.

A guest posting by Dov Fedler

 

I am privileged to have South African political cartoonist Dov Fedler as my father-in-law.

This article appeared on the front page of the Cape Times.

  

How do I feel ?I have been asked that all week. Friends phoned my wife, concerned that I may be hiding in a cupboard afraid to confront the world. Suddenly every cartoon I draw is under the most intense scrutiny. I receive angry racist emails, cartoons from all over about Muslim terrorism. I hit delete without so much as a glance. 

 I’d never heard of Charlie Hebdo until last week. Four cartoonists massacred. How do I feel? Well, it wasn’t like the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Jack Ruby shooting of Lee Harvey Oswald, 9/11,Martin Luther King,or Chris Hani-Verwoerd even. That is how long I have been around. In those days, each of those events  resonated like the tsunami of ten years ago. 

Now we drown in bad news daily. There is no time for me to accommodate my emotions. I am still there with the death of Pierre Korkie, planes falling out of the sky, lost God knows where. There is the daily Boko Haram outrage, Isis, Ukaine, our own continent, atrocities everywhere, too numerous to mention. Atrocity, outrage are  the vocabulary of the media. 

A cartoonist’s day is crammed with horrible events thanks to social media. It is all too much- like working in mortuary with mutilated bodies-like being a vulture looking for slim pickings after the kill. There, already two tired clichés ready to submit to my editors.  It has been an awful week, trying to strike the right tone, recover my sense of humour.

The event offers a gigantic soapbox on which to stand and now preach peace on earth and welcome to Hunkydoryland. But the soapbox conceals a bear trap. I am weary of these media quicksteps. Whose book will be first on the shelves after the Oscar judgement? Something not quite kosher about it all  It’s a feast for piranhas. Who will draw the definitive Charlie Hebdo cartoon? It’s a race for more fame. 

And I look up to the hills, wherever they are, from whence cometh my truth, and have this blazing,  happy insight. I am so happy to live in South Africa, with load shedding, potholes, Julius and Jacob and what have you. 
Jews are leaving France in droves. They should all wear yellow stars on their sleeves The words contained in the centre should read “ Je suis Juif.”

Xenophobia and poverty will continue to plague our society. Juju will have his day. Aluta continua. And that is a good thing. Give me corruption and Eskom to play with. Darkness and corruption too, will be led into the light.

It is a monumental privilege I enjoy, being a commentator in our emerging democracy. My editor, Gasant Abarder, asked me to write this piece after we discussed at length how we both feel. This event is designed to pit Jew against Muslim. We refuse to be nudged. Besides, I have something invested in this. You know how we Jews are. I have beaten cancer. The physician who has led me through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, in whose hands I invested my life ,is named after The Prophet.  

How do I feel? God, Allah knows.